A familiar saying tells us that actions have consequences. Sometimes those consequences can result in hurt feelings or frustration for the individuals involved. Teaching your child how to accept the consequences of their actions with grace and honesty can be a challenge.
Start by explaining that mistakes happen to everyone. At some point, you have made a mistake, and it’s more than likely that your child will make mistakes. It’s part of being human! Learning from those mistakes and owning up to your part in it is an important part of helping to prevent it from happening again in the future.
Explain to your child or student that when a mistake is made, such as them forgetting to empty the dishwasher when they were asked to do so, there is a consequence as a result. In this example, maybe the result is that you are upset that they didn’t do what they were asked. Perhaps you take away their TV privileges until the dishes are put away; this would be a consequence.
We’ve compiled three basic steps your child or student should take in order to accept the consequences when they’ve made a mistake:
- Look the person in the eye when they are explaining the issue and what will happen as a result.
- Stay calm. Arguing about the consequences will not make it any better and can often lead to an escalation, resulting in further or more severe consequences.
- Accept responsibility for your actions and how they have impacted others.
Through gentle reminders of these three steps, you can encourage your child and help them learn to accept consequences. Check out the additional social skills resources below to reinforce these lessons!
Power Point Presentations:
I Can Accept Consequences PowerPoint
I Can Accept Consequences Facilitator’s Guide
Resource Materials:
I Can Accept Consequences Outline
I Can Accept Consequences Magnet Cards
This week I might try to accept consequences Homework
I Can Accept Consequences Parent Note
I Can Accept Consequences Mini Schedule
I Can Accept Consequences Activity
I Can Accept Consequences Teacher Note
Pre/Post Assessment
A pre and post lesson assessment is included in each lesson. Use of the assessment is an instructor preference. Many of the ‘homework’ pages for a lesson can be used as a pre/post assessment device alone or as part of the provided assessment. Each homework page can be checked by the instructor as well as the student.
Review all included pages of the lesson to determine what ‘assessment’ method will meet your needs. If the student is able to achieve a + in the majority of items of the pre-assessment, or if the student has been observed to display the skill topic of the lesson often, then the lesson may not be introduced or can be taught with a group as review and/or reinforcement.
I Can Accept Consequences Pre/Post Assessment
Understanding Consequences Social Skills Module
In addition to accepting consequences when we make mistakes, helping your students understand that all actions have consequences, but that they can be positive or have negative impacts, will help guide their decision-making skills as they mature.
You can use this social skills module about consequences as a standalone or companion lesson to reinforce lessons about the cause and effect of actions.
In this lesson, teach your students that all actions have an impact on the people around them in some way, be it good, bad, or neutral. Before they do something, they should take a moment to pause and think about how their action will impact their peers and the adults nearby.
You could use this example with your students: say that you’re in the middle of teaching a lesson and your student has a really good story they want to share with their best friend. What would happen if instead of waiting until after the lesson is over, they decided to tell their friend the story while you’re teaching?
You can walk through all the ways this action impacts everyone involved, specifically:
- The student telling the story – they miss the lesson and may get in trouble for talking during class
- Their friend who could also get in trouble for not paying attention and who will also miss the lesson
- The student’s classmates who could be distracted from the lesson by their talking
- The teacher who is being interrupted by their talking during the lesson
It’s okay to make mistakes and forget about consequences but it’s important to own up to it and apologize when we’ve done something wrong.
Power Point Presentations:
My Actions Have Consequences Facilitator’s Guide
My Actions Have Consequences PowerPoint Presentation
Resource Materials:
My Actions Have Consequences Outline
My Actions Have Consequences Parent Note
My Actions Have Consequences Teacher Note
My Actions Have Consequences Homework
My Actions Have Consequences Activity Worksheet
My Actions Have Consequences Magnet Cards
My Actions Have Consequences Mini Schedule
The special education social skills resources for accepting and understanding consequences were authored by Watson Institute’s special education consultant, Andee Morris, M.Ed.
If you have questions or concerns about the Watson Institute’s use of this information, please contact us.