“You can’t always get what you want.” It’s a familiar song lyric and an important life lesson. When things don’t go as planned, having the social skills to manage feelings of disappointment or anger is a key part of growing and developing social maturity.
While it’s natural to feel upset, frustrated, or even angry, learning to respond to disappointment with a calmer approach and flexibility can help students:
- practice emotional regulation
- build stronger relationships with peers
- problem-solve more effectively
- grow in confidence
Teaching Your Student to Handle Disappointment
Imagine your student is excited to play outside with a friend, but when recess arrives, it’s pouring rain. What can they do? Encourage your student to practice these simple steps:
- Pause and Breathe – take a moment (or a few!) to reset.
- Use Positive Self-Talk – “It’s okay, it won’t rain forever.”
- Ask Questions – if they’re unsure why the plans changed, encourage them to ask questions to understand.
- Think of Alternatives – what are other fun indoor options?
- Practice Patience – sometimes waiting is part of the process, as hard as it may be.
- Share Feelings – talking about disappointment can help your students feel heard and supported.
Putting it Into Practice
Next time something doesn’t go their way, guide your students through these steps to help them stay calm and work through their emotions. With practice, they’ll build the social skills they need to handle life’s ups and downs with confidence and emotional stability. will help you teach your students how to handle disappointment when things don’t go their way.
These special education resources for accepting change were authored by Watson Institute’s special education consultant, Andee Morris, M.Ed.
PowerPoint Presentations:
What to Do When I Can’t Get My Way Facilitator’s Guide
What to Do When I Can’t Get My Way PowerPoint Presentation
Social Skills Resources Materials:
What to Do When I Can’t Get My Way Activity
What to Do When I Can’t Get My Way Homework
What to Do When I Can’t Get My Way Magnet Card
What to Do When I Can’t Get My Way Mini Schedule
What to Do When I Can’t Get My Way Outline
What to Do When I Can’t Get My Way Teacher Note
What to Do When I Can’t Get My Way Parent Note
If you have any questions or concerns about the Watson Institute’s use of this information, please contact us.