Recognizing and managing emotional triggers is an important part of supporting mental health.
Emotional triggers can cause the body to experience discomfort or danger and are often a result of unmanaged anxiety or stress.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)1, an estimated 19% of adults 18 years of age and older and nearly 32% of adolescents between 13 and 18 years old in the United States are impacted by anxiety disorders.
Learning to distinguish between discomfort and danger can help you or your child respond to these emotions with greater awareness and resilience.
Discomfort vs. Danger
Feelings can convince you that something is true, even if it’s not reality. When you experience feelings of discomfort, it is natural to feel as if something is wrong or that you are unsafe, but that’s not always the truth. Sometimes, your nervous system is “triggered” by an emotion to react in the same way you would if you were in a truly dangerous situation.
- Discomfort is emotional unease or distress that may feel overwhelming but doesn’t always signal true danger. Feelings are real, but they are information, not always facts.
- Danger is a situation that poses a true threat to your safety or well-being. When you experience danger, your body may activate one of the common responses: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn, which aim to protect you from real threats to your safety.
When every emotional trigger is treated as a danger, resilience-building is not possible. Separating past alarms from present danger is crucial for healing, not just coping. In order to do this, we need to be mindful and question our experience.
How to respond when you experience triggering emotions
When you experience a strong emotional reaction, pause and ask yourself a few questions: Is something happening right now that is threatening my safety, or is this situation reminding me of something from the past?
Consider these questions to check in with yourself:
- Am I reacting to what’s happening now, or something from the past?
- Is there a real threat, or am I feeling discomfort I don’t want to feel?
- Will leaving keep me safe, or just comfortable?
As you’re experiencing the feelings, try the following approaches in the moment:
✔ Name the thoughts out loud or write them down
✔ Do a quick body scan – Is your heart racing? Is your breathing shallow?
✔ Use grounding phrases like “This is a feeling, not a fact”
✔ Challenge worst-case scenario thinking using the worst case / best case scenario strategy (what’s the worst thing that can happen; what’s the best thing that can happen)
✔ Practice new endings to old stories – just because you responded a certain way in the past doesn’t mean you can’t change how you respond this time around
The check-in questions and in-the-moment exercises are not meant to keep you in situations that feel unsafe.
Growth often happens when we stay just a little longer in safe discomfort, not to force ourselves, but to help our nervous system learn what safety feels like.
If your child seems overwhelmed, anxious, or struggling emotionally, extra support can make a difference. Therapy can help children and families better understand emotions, build coping skills, and feel more confident as they navigate challenges.
The Watson Institute is here to help.
Learn more and request an appointment today!